This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
