if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Everclear isn't food dammit
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
