dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just found puke in my bra..
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
