ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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