Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
