you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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