just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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