it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
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