But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
