if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize