I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
