I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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