he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
