Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
