i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
