Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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