So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Ketchup is God's man juice
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
