Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
