Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
