I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
