Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
