I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
