i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
