if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
