physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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