He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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