is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
