Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize