that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
