I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
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