His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
