got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
