we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
