I wish you could order shots online.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
