Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
