Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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