Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize