I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
