found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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