Apparently you make a good broom.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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