I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
