Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Come on in and take your pants off
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