direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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