This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
