why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize