there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
