I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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