The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
