Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
