No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
