in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
