Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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