Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
