I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
