Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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