if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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