Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you will always have a special place in my vag
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
