this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
