Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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