I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Fuck appropriateness.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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