oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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