There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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