I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
