I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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